Dental Grants for Single Parents
This is a color that recharges our spirits during times of mental stress and tiredness, alleviating feelings of loneliness
Pro ME IS NOT Anti YOU® DENTAL GRANTS FOR SINGLE PARENTS
A Gift to Restore Confidence and Hope
In 2004, I experienced a horrible automobile accident, and lost several teeth when an 18-wheeler ran a light and broad-sighted my car on the drivers’ side, knocking my car in a ditch. I’m still not sure how long I was unconscious, but I immediately felt severe pain in my mouth. When I discovered I lost several teeth, I was devastated. I didn’t even know there was a possibility of losing your teeth in an accident, or any means outside of poor dental care. For several months, I desperately went through several procedures, until I could get an appointment with my dental provider to gain my smile back. I had a great job, with (what I thought to be), really great dental insurance. I discovered, at the worst possible time, that my dental coverage would not address my new problems. I had other issues as a result of the accident; but nothing was as pressing to me as restoring my face.
I’m not sure if it was my vanity or my desperation not to walk around with a hole in my face; but by the time I found out my dental insurance did not cover anything, it was too late to add it to the lawsuit. I was in an immediate quandary with only one option; to forget about my damage, because my children were nearing their entrance into college life.
As devastating as the accident was/is, I felt I was primed to deal with a tragedy in my life because of what I once referred to as “a million rules for my life”. My grandmother was the first person in our family who was not a slave or a sharecropper; and she determined at my birth, that I was not going to live as a slave or sharecropper either. As a result, I was first introduced to some activities my grandmother referred to as WHO AM I TO ME™, because she did not want me to walk about acting and living with the limitations of racism in America and the power America wanted it to have to control the outcome of my life and future.
Racism was a very difficult thing for me to deal with, because I was born extremely logical (and racism made no sense), with an aversion against the meanness of people (I literally felt traumatized more than most because of the sheer meanness of people); but at the same time, I was extremely confident about my abilities and my probabilities. As a matter of fact, after dealing with the stench of racism from old white people refusing to get over themselves; the terror I felt when a little Black girl cut off one of my ponytails (in school), when I was in fourth grade because she said, “You shouldn’t be allowed to have bright skin and pretty hair”; and more and more of the will for people to be instinctively mean and horrible; I felt forced to make the determination at just 10 years old, that I was always going to have to be important to myself. As confident as I am, I was not prepared with what to do about my external dilemma—that seemed to be a far larger problem for people who had to be in my presence. I was the one suffering the most substantial losses in my entire life; but “people’ were granting themselves permission to act as if I was to be defined by the accident that happened to me, as if the accident was the sum total of my WHO AM I TO ME™. There were times when I wanted to be as mean as the absolutely obtuse people in my face; but I knew that would solve nothing (besides, my grandmother would have had a fit if she ever knew I was acting as ridiculous to people as they dared grant themselves permission to be ridiculous to me).
It took a whole lot longer than I ever thought to restore the damage done to my face, but in the interim; I had to learn to thank GOD for everything HE was adding to my life—in the midst of my definition of myself. I felt like GOD kept asking me, “Are you who I created you to be, or are you going to limit yourself to something that can be fixed with technology?” When GOD placed my dilemma to me so simply; I literally felt really silly for daring to hide myself behind my work, telling myself that I could do and accomplish everything GOD planned for me, in the background as in the forefront (with what I thought would be people focusing on the wrong things—or all in my business—when they would have a problem with me being all in their business).
After crying, every single day for about two weeks for realizing the limitations I’d placed on myself; I begged GOD to forgive me, and I choose to be grateful for being able to live HIS plan for my life—which was a huge, very welcomed distraction. For the most part, the distractions kept me busy enough to do what I needed to do to arrive in this place in my life. My problem did not stop people from seeking me out to give Love In Abundance, Inc. a donation, because they believed our program to be holistic and incredible—but there were some people who changed their minds about actually giving us the donation once they saw me. There was even one white guy who sought me out, because he said he loved the difference offered in our College Must Begin in 8th Grade Life and Pre-College Preparatory program, and he wanted to give Love In Abundance, Inc. a substantial donation. Our time clashed for almost two years, and when I finally met him, he said, “I must not care that much about myself, or I would have gotten my teeth repaired”.
This man had no concern for the fact that I served my students four days a week, with a borrowed vehicle (because someone totaled my vehicle and delayed telling me), which left me without a car (and unable to afford one with three persons in my house in college). This man did not care that I was a fulltime student in college to learn more about how to best help my students, to assure I was working for their good, and in their best interest. This man had no interest in the fact that I am a divorced mother of three, with two children in college; working on a couple of books GOD began giving me in 2008. He was absolutely uninterested in the fact that most of the time I was physically—though not mentally exhausted, because of my overloaded schedule—infused by my desperation to help my students feel as great about themselves as they should have already been feeling—barring the atrocities of having to endure racism in America—because of America’s will to only provide them consistently—every level of systemic inequality. This man looked past everything that I am, and everything on my plates to do, and determined that who I must have been was limited to my external presentation—which has never been the best part of who I am to myself, anyway.
Several people, including some friends who are attorneys, told me I could sue him for refusing to donate funds he promised—I had not asked him for; but I did not want Love In Abundance, Inc. introduction into the public arena to be tainted with such ignorance and shallowness. I saw several dentists over the years, but could not afford most of their services—because most were in the neighborhood of the price of a small car. There was one dentist who saw my damage and my pain, and asked, and then listened to the heart of what I do for a living. This dentist was kind, both sympathetic and empathetic, and she offered me a more than reasonable rate—because of my passion for my students to restore my face. In that one act of considerable kindness, my faith was restored in people in her profession. I asked GOD how could I bless her, even though I could no longer afford her significantly reduced fees. This dentist is Dr. Alison Scott Cuillier, and she will help me bless her and other parents experiencing what I experienced, on a quarterly basis, because I believe kindness should be awarded.
I am going to create a quarterly grant for a single parenting parent to get her/his smile restored, to help her feel valued, validated, and whole, at the cost of $5,000 a quarter. It is not my business what happened, but they will have to share the difference the restoration means to them (without the agony of a before and after picture.) This grant will not be available to parents refusing to parent their children; so please do not inquire. You have no idea how very much I call on, listen to, and adhere to what GOD tells me to do—so please do not think you can get over here! This grant is to help parents who are doing all they can to be the best parent to their children, who need just a little help, to feel the kindness of a stranger, and to experience the heart of an incredible woman and professional in her industry (like Dr. Cuillier extended to me), to feel as great as she/he is.
The reason for creating this offering is because my grandmother raised me to believe we are blessed to be a blessing. GOD changed my life, allowing me to experience the realities of some parents having a hard way to go in live as a result of life happening to them in substantial ways. There’s a chapter in the Pro ME IS NOT Anti YOU® OLD SCHOOL FOUNDATIONAL LIFE LESSONS TO LIVE BY QUICKBOOK titled: Every Piece of Your Life Is Necessary to Make the Rest of Your Life Make Sense, to show students that life will happen to you, and some of it will get on your last nerves; but in everything done to you—you must never give up on your earnest truths. Our children need to see that life happening to you must never grant themselves the power to diminish who they are in any way—or the will to live lessor versions of themselves based on someone else’s demented opinion. The playing field of opportunities has never been leveled in the student deemed and treated as a marginalized minority mind or in their favor; so they have to trust GOD; motivate themselves; and do everything in their power to become the difference they were born to be—respectfully and without ever compromising their WHO AM I TO ME™!
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